Clintons Playing the Race Card?

Watched Hillary on "Meet the Press" this morning. She's now attempting to paint the Obama campaign with the same stripes the media has been painting her with this past week - implying Obama is lying, exaggerating, and taking her and Bill's comments out of context in an effort to make them look bad. Calling into question the intent and the content of public statements made by Billary that are, if not overtly, at least inadvertently racist, is not the same as spreading innuendo and rumor through the internet. As to Hillary's claims that she fired people in her campaign for their false statements - she let the "Barack is a Muslim and attended a madrassa as a child" rumor fly for the entire NH campaign and didn't, at first, admit to it. Then when it was irrefutably traced back to her campaign, she waited until AFTER she'd eeked out a win in NH before firing the "responsible party" who was probably just some low level fall guy.

As to what Hillary is accusing Barack of - lying about her statements regarding MLK and Bill's now infamous "fairy tale" speech - several black leaders, such as SC Congressman James Clyburn, and concerned journalists were the first to take notice of the pattern of subtle race baiting that both Clintons have been participating in for some time now. The Obama campaign is calling into question direct quotes made by their opponent - that's responsible campaigning. We should ALL be looking at the candidates' records, questioning their intent, and examining their character before we just blindly give them our vote. Apparently Hillary thinks her extremely slow reaction to the slew of lies her campaign is slinging (slow enough to make sure they have enough time to hit and resonate before retracting them after the damage is done) gives her the moral high ground in her eyes, and Obama's calling her to account for her public words makes him "negative." I'm not buying it. And hoping millions of South Carolinians won't either.

You, too, Bill?

I used to like Bill Clinton... But I was SHOCKED by the Clinton campaign's dirty campaigning in NH. I thought that was something only Republicans did. It was like we were fighting against Karl Rove out there on the streets. I had several people - registered Democrats, I might add - who were sure that Obama was a Muslim terrorist that wanted to "take America down from the inside..." And where did they get this info? Why emails from he Clinton campaign, of course. Dis-GUSTING. Seriously, is this what we want from our President? 4 more years of the same crap we've gotten for the last 8? I can say that I loved Barack before I went to NH and totally supported his policies, but now I am FERVENT that he is the right person. We ran such a CLEAN campaign in the NH election, the ethical nature of the Obama campaign in NH came from the top down. And the campaign itself was run from the ground up. Democracy at its best.

If you think Hillary can change and run a positive campaign, here is, essentially, what Bill said on the Sharpton show yesterday - vote for Hillary, because this is her last chance, but Obama will have other opportunities. I.e. - "don't vote for who you think is the best candidate, just throw the old girl a bone, give her a pity vote, because this young kid has time on his side." Using that logic, we all should have voted for Dole in '96. Pathetic. They know her time is past and her potential was always limited. They're just trying to force her on the American public because the value of the Republican party has never been lower, which is her only chance of ever being elected.

I think we owe it to ourselves and the country we love to choose the RIGHT candidate. I'm not suffering through another mediocre President because she feels the Office is owed to her for some reason...

Notes from NH

Moments that stood out from Primary weekend:

• The first day I canvassed, I was really intimidated. It seems so crazy to just walk up to someone's door and knock and then launch into a political discussion with someone you don't really know... But you'd be surprised how many people will talk to you - invite you in, even. I went to the door of one man who had a note by his name that said he was an Independent voter, had been visited by us before and showed he was "leaning towards" voting for Senator Obama. When he answered his door, I apologized for interrupting the football game which was clearly on on the tv behind him. "No problem," he said. I told him I was back because the election was close and I wanted to see if he had any questions about Barack Obama. I gave him a quick run-down as to why I was campaigning for Obama. He listened politely, and when I asked him if he had any questions, he said "No, I think I know who I'm voting for." I asked who, and he said, without irony, "Mitt Romney." There's a strange first and second choice. Romney/Obama '08 anyone?

• As we were doing a visibility in the middle of town on Monday - which basically consists of holding a bunch of signs, whooping and hollering and trying to encourage people to honk as they drive by (silly, I know, but it seems to be a method of all campaigns everywhere) - an elderly woman exited the bank across the street and yelled, "I wouldn't vote for him if he were the last candidate on earth! Obama rhymes with OSAMA!" Um, what?!?

• My friend Heather called a man and as soon as she got him on the line and started her appeal, he said, "Say no more, he's the man!" When she asked if he'd be voting for Obama on Tuesday, he said, "I can't vote." She had his registration information in front of her and said she was sure he was registered, to which he replied, "Yea, but I got convicted of a felony recently..." Whooops!

• Heather also called someone who said flat out, "I don't vote for N***ers." Wow. Didn't think anyone admitted to that anymore.

• I canvassed at a house with a WWII Veteran license plate on the car in the drive. The wife and husband were listed as registered Democrats. A note indicated that the wife had been visited before and said she was "definitely" voting for Barack. The husband answered the door when I called upon them this time. Immediately the husband began ranting that Barack was a liar. I asked him "What do you perceive he's lied about?" He responded "Everything." I asked him to elaborate and he started to explain to me that Barack Obama was a Muslim terrorist who was trying to bring down the US from the inside... I told him we'd have to agree to disagree on that one, and politely excused myself. He told me to be careful on the ice as I left. Wonder if he knew about his terrorist abetting wife?

• The night before the polls, our last task was to hang little "Don't Forget to Vote for Barack!" door hangers on the houses of people who had expressed a strong interest in him. This began at about 7pm at night, right after the surprise rally that Senator Obama had just held in town. Of course we were all "Fired Up and Ready to Go!" Until we got out and started actually doing it. There's nothing worse than sneaking up to someone's house in the dark. Especially in an area where some houses are about 500 feet off the main road, in the pitch black, with a truck in the driveway adorned with an NRA sticker. And a huge "Beware of the Dog" sign on the fence. My friend Heather and I got stuck with a particularly desolate route way on the outskirts of town. All of the sudden we came upon about 400 cars lining either side of the road. We looked at each other and said, "Rally." But for who? Why for Mike HUCKABEE!! The rally was just letting out. So here we are, double parking Heather's car in the middle of the road, both of us exploding out of either side of the vehicle, running - sometimes long distances - to the house on our list, or the house next to the house on our list because it was so dark we couldn't see house numbers, and coming back to giddy Huckabeeans waiting to pull their car out of the spot we'd blocked them into. Imagine the headlines: "Obama Supporter Run Over by Huckabee Backer." At one point, we saw about 6 Goth kids in the full hair and makeup, 8 inch platform boots, etc. getting into their mini-van carrying "Huckabee!" signs and high-fiving each other. Neither of us could figure THAT one out.

• My favorite call was to a man who stopped me in mid-sentence and said, "O-BAH-ma... He's a liberal, right?" I responded, "Well, yes, he's a progressive candidate." To which he replied, "We don't got nuthin' to do with liberals in THIS house. They can all go to HELL," and promptly hung up on me. I smiled as I looked down on his voter registration information: "Registered Democrat."

Getting Out the Vote Obama Style

Just got back from an intense weekend Getting Out The Vote in Rochester, NH. 4 cold nights at a cheap hotel. 3 long days working with some of the most inspired, articulate, kind, caring, informed and fired up people I've ever met. This was about more than politics. We were a movement.

I'm still reeling a little from the end result. I, like everyone else, can't figure out how the polls could have been so wrong... But I am so proud to have gone on my own time, on my own dime and slogged through the wet, slushy streets of NH, knocking on doors and talking to people about Senator Obama.

I learned a lot from being on the ground and talking to Americans in their homes about what is important to them. People are sick of Washington. They are sick of candidates that don't listen to them. Who don't care about the working poor. Who are more concerned with their own ego, than the wants and needs of their constituents. I talked to a man who says he's written numerous letters to his local Congressman about some problems that need to be addressed in his neighborhood and hasn't ever heard back. He said he could remember a time when writing a letter meant getting a response - of some kind. I talked to a 61 year old woman who in her own words, had been just a "sliver above poor" her whole life. She made just enough to not qualify for any public assistance, but was always struggling just to get by. I talked to a man shoveling his neighbor's driveway who had signed up to be a volunteer at the polls because he knew he'd be one of the first people to get to vote on Tuesday. All of these people were voting for Senator Obama. And sadly I talked to a few people who apologetically said that they loved Senator Obama and his message of hope and change, but were too jaded and cynical to believe it was actually possible anymore, and were therefore going to vote for the status quo candidate.

Many people who told me they were not going to vote for Senator Obama apologized to me, saying they felt bad that they weren't voting for him. What a sad statement about the state of affairs in America - that people can't feel good about who they are voting for, and are too afraid/disaffected/cynical to vote for the person they CAN feel good about voting for. We are at a place in our history where the current administration has botched things up so badly, that we have a unique opportunity to shift the paradigm and try something completely different. But the fearmongering of the past 7 1/2 years - while it has people hungry for change - also has them scared. Scared to hope for anything more than "not as bad as it is now."

Barack Obama can bring people together, inspire them, and effect change. He dares to dream big and inspires us to do so. One thing I saw first hand in NH is what his message can accomplish on a grassroots level. Our office was two doors down from another candidate. Let's say that candidate's name is "Billary." Here's a little compare and contrast. Our office was a mess. People were sleeping on the floor in the back room and freshening up in the showerless bathroom. Working, lierally, around the clock. Almost no one in the office was actually paid anything. We were all volunteers who came on our own, and used and gave of our own resources, without complaint and with total commitment. We were told to run a clean, pleasant, professional, courteous ground operation. To NEVER speak badly about anyone else's campaign or person. To never answer a question if we didn't know the answer, but to be sure and get the proper information to the person asking it by calling the office, where someone was available to us at all times. There were volunteers from CA, IA, IN, NY, MA, ME, MD, DC, as well as dozens from the town of Rochester itself.

Billary's office was often empty. There were few volunteers from the area, but many paid operatives from DC. They sat at desks. Their office was neat as a pin. We never ran into them canvassing. We hardly ever came across her literature. Her people seemed largely absent from the area, which was strange. One of the aforementioned paid operatives disclosed that Billary outsourced all the phone calls to a service. Contrast that with our Obama office where we were using our own cell phones to make calls from call lists until the polls closed on Tuesday, because we had more vounteers than phones, and a desire to work until the very last minute. We were told by one of the Billary people that they'd love to come work for Obama if he won the nomination - but we should know that the Billary people would NEVER allow anyone who'd worked the Obama campaign to work for them. As she said, "the Obama people take all comers, the Billaries are very vindictive."

I ran across a lot of misinformation as I canvassed as well. I wondered where it was coming from. Especially since it seemed to be the same two issues over and over again. "I've heard Senator Obama doesn't support a woman's right to choose - got that in an email..." No ma'am, in fact he has received a 100% rating from both Planned Parenthood and NARAL every year he's been in office, his record is adamantly Pro-Life. "I got an email that says that Senator Obama refused to particpate in the Pledge of Allegiance..." No Sir, that's not accurate. When asked where they got this information, all of them said emails from that Billary candidate. These are the politics of Karl Rove. As Democrats, haven't we prided ourselves, in fact, assuaged ourselves after two horrifying national elections, with the knowledge that at least we didn't stoop to the Republicans' level and campaign in the mud? We may not have won in 2000 and 2004, but at least we didn't lie and drag our opponents down with falsehoods and deviousness. Well, the Democrats seem to have their own Karl Rove in their midst now, and whoever s/he is, s/he is working for Billary. After reading Rove's WSJ oped piece on Obama, I'm beginning to wonder if it isn't Karl Rove HIMSELF who's working for Billary...

I got a chance to see Mr. Obama at a rally in Rochester. He was amazing. Especially in dealing fairly and hearing out a small but very vocal group of anti-abortion protesters who began chanting and disrupting the proceedings about 10 minutes in. Senator Obama kept the crowd from booing the protesters or shouting them down with rhetoric or even "Fired Up, Ready to Go!" chants. He asked the protesters if they had any questions for him, or if they wanted to open up dialogue. He asked the crowd to hear them out. Eventually, after the crowd of 1000 just stared at the 10 protestors for about 2 minutes, they petered out and left, unsure as to what to do next, as I'm sure they were prepared to be challenged and stirred up. Left with nothing but our full attention, and no other agenda but to scream the same three words: "Abortion is abomination" over and over, they realized they weren't going to get any traction that way, and left of their own accord. After they left Mr. Obama, who had been in the middle of praising the organization of ground volunteers when the ruckus started, said "That was good ground organization - that's the right of Americans to have their voice heard." And he's right. Watching him deal with that group gave us all a real insight as to how he would deal with those who disagree with him. It was pretty amazing.

To use the campaign terminology - I am more fired up and ready to go than I was before I left for NH. I'm getting active here in my home state, and considering a trip to SC for the final push before primary. Finding a candidate that actually transcends everything you always hope for when you go to place a vote is a little bit like finally falling in love. You've thought for so long that you'd have to settle... But when you find out you don't have to settle - it's the best feeling in the world.

We've Been Made "Redundant"

I've blogged previously about the company that I wait tables for - Great Performances. My primary place of work is the cafe at the Asia Society Museum, which GP runs. I've been there almost a year. It's a really great place to work. Waiting tables can be a really horrible job. At many restaurants the management is awful, the push to upsell is ridiculous, the hours are long and tedious, the chefs can be tempermental to flat out crazy, sometimes the waitstaff create drama amongst themselves, tips can be pooled and whittled down to nothing, the work environment can be unsanitary... Waiters are often hired for their personalities and ability to sell, hustle and be competent and responsible and yet are subsequently treated like slaves. The best thing about Great Performances is, even though it is one of the largest food service companies in New York, it has a top down ethic of treating its people with respect. In my year with GP, I've been able to earn a decent living working with very nice people, in a clean environment, with excellent and unique food - in short, things that make the job easy. It's easy to sell food when you believe in it and the people who create it. It's easy to come to work, even to a somewhat menial job, when the hours are short, the money is good, the environment and clients are pleasant, the management is capable and willing to support you, and your fellow co-workers are considerate, reliable and fun to be around. Things are so nice at the cafe, in fact, that we just received a 3 star (highest possible) review in the vaunted Michelin Guide. And we just got fired from the Asia Society...

I showed up at work this morning for my usual Friday shift and was told there was a full staff meeting on the 8th floor of the building. The head of HR at GP was there as well as one of the top 3 in management of the company. I knew that couldn't be good. We were all informed that as of December 21, the GP contract with Asia Society was over and Asia Society had decided not to renew. GP would make every effort to absorb all of us into their other venues, it was no reflection on us, as all reviews in the trades in New York (even Boston), and all customer feedback were unanimously and fervently positive. "It was just a business decision." Apparently the Asia Society believes they can make more money if they run the cafe themselves. Later, the head of Events at the Asia Society met with us and told us all thanks for our hard work in helping build the cafe from nothing to the popular and well reviewed place it had become and that it was nothing personal but the Asia Society just made a business decision to go in a different direction. Whatevs. But then he went on to tell us that he himself had made the decision to not renew the contract, and that he was "really excited," that the transition was "going to be great!" and if any of us wanted to stay on at the cafe, he "couldn't promise" us anything, but he might be able to put a good word in for us... The man just canned 15 people and then stood in front of us and told us how excited he was about it. I've never experienced such a complete lack of people skills in my whole life.

Later, to add insult to injury, and in a perfect display of true (not Alanis Morrisette fake) irony, in the middle of the lunch rush, the Director of Communications at the Asia Society stands in the middle of the restaurant and announces to the whole place that the cafe just received the 3 star Michelin Guide review and encourages the patrons to "give a hand" to the management and servers at the cafe. There we all are, in mid-lunch rush, caught like deer in the headlights while our patrons clap for us, like it's a curtain call. It was awkward and embarrassing and a little infuriating, because - and here's the definition of real irony - the patrons were not in on the fact that those of us who had worked so hard to earn that 3 star review were fired that very morning. The Asia Society brought Great Performances in two years ago to build them a cafe from the floor up, and now that it has become successful, garnered great press, and gained an excellent reputation - despite the fact that the Asia Society did absolutely nothing to promote the cafe themselves - they now want to ride on that reputation, take all the glory and exploit the reviews we at GP earned and claim them for their own, and dupe the public by quietly changing management, service and food and still claiming to be the same place. The review of the Asia Society cafe that is in the 2008 NYC Michelin Guide will not represent or reflect the cafe that will be there in 2008. That cafe in the review will be no more as of December 21, 2007.

I'm taking this more personally than I thought I would. As the day progressed, the hypocrisy and shittiness of the whole thing just really started to build. First of all, I've never been fired before (especially en masse) and it sucks. Secondly, I'm worried about the kitchen staff who aren't from this country and have a lot more riding on a steady paycheck than someone like me. Thirdly, I wanted to be the one who made the decision where I'd work and not have it taken from me by someone who really doesn't even care how he's affected those of us he's fired, and is gleefully exploiting the reputation we all built so hard to build. I suppose it's part and parcel of the corporate world to let the people under you do the work and then take credit for it and profit from it. That's why I've never taken a corporate job, and hope to never have to. I know change can be a good thing. All it takes is a change in perspective. I know there are a lot of projects and opportunities that Ryan and I have waiting for us with our business. I know that I will not starve, even if I don't find another job right away. I know that there are a million wait jobs in NYC, and I know that I may not ever have to wait a table again. But those thoughts are for tomorrow. Today, it sucks to be fired.

Daisy is Looking Good!!

Let me take this opportunity to thank all of you who have been following the saga of Daisy and her belly. I am happy to report that, as of now, she has a clean bill of health from the vet and the surgeon. Last week was the first time Daisy had her e-collar off in two months, and needless to say, she's a very happy, energetic dog these days. She is also enjoying the unseasonably warm Fall weather we're having. She is sitting outside sunning herself in our side yard as I write this. The picture above was taken on our morning walk today. Ryan and I feel so grateful to have our dog back!!

When last we left you, the surgeon had sent Daisy's necrotic tissue out for biopsy. She had found no evidence of a hernia repair and had gone ahead and reconstructed Daisy's left abdominal wall after removing Daisy's mammory, fatty pad, and some necrotic muscle and skin on her lower left side. A couple of days later, the biopsy came back and showed minute amounts of extremely quick dissolving suture material. Therefore, it does look like the vet in Illinois did indeed perform a hernia surgery - and apparently did a nice job on the internal repair, because no scar tissue formed. What caused all of Daisy's troubles was the quick-dissolve sutures used in the initial hernia surgery, which are highly reactive. The quick-dissolve sutures are rather new and not widely used, and they can cause extreme allergic reactions in dogs - which is exactly what happened with Daisy. By the time we saw outward manifestations of her infection, it had spread from the site of her hernia repair all the way to the incision in the middle of the belly, and eventually ruined everything in its path. Thank God we had the repair surgery when we did, because the infection would have continued to spread and ruin all tissue in its path.

Obviously Daisy's surgery was quite extensive, and she was in a mountain of pain, which was incredibly difficult to deal with. Just touching her sent her into screams of pain. She had to be lifted in and out of the car, up and down stairs, etc. and for a couple of days it took Ryan and I about 30 minutes just to gear ourselves and Daisy up to handle any moving of her. Then we'd endure her screaming before, during and after handling her and she'd endure what I can only imagine was unbelievable pain, because she has a very high pain tolerance. Amazingly, within two days she was feeling much better and we took her off her pain meds - the vet thought she'd be a wreck for at least 3 or more days, but as I said, Daisy's tough. Ryan and I spent the week taking shifts with Daisy as she was not supposed to be left alone. Each of us called in sick to work at least once, but we were able to work it all out. We took Daisy to the vet this past week for a post-op follow-up. The only area of any concern at all is a strange lump Daisy has on her left side at the site of the second surgery. The surgeon is fairly certain that it is just a large lump of scar tissue since Daisy had such a radical surgery, but you can never be totally sure, so we are to watch it and make sure it doesn't swell or change. We've been watching it for about a week now, and if anything it's gotten smaller and it doesn't bother Daisy a bit when you squeeze it, so we think it probably is just some really ugly scar tissue. Plus, Daisy doesn't have the fat pad on that side to kind of disguise it - it just sticks right up under her skin. The surgeon said it will probably be about a year before the scar tissue settles. So Daisy has a wicked long scar down the middle of her belly and a big lump on her left side, but otherwise, she is perfect. Her activity level has returned to almost puppy proportions, she's eating well, playing with other dogs, interested in socializing with people again and just back to her old self. Hallelujah!

Again, I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers and words of encouragement. I know that all that positive energy had a positive effect on Daisy. I'm sure she would give you a big old tail waggle of agreement. Thanks again, all!!

She's Not A Human, But...

She's still our baby. Daisy is our beautiful Beagle/Dachshund mix. She was a rescue dog that I found on the side of the road in Louisiana. She came to me with worms and fleas, and more seriously she was heartworm positive and anemic. She was also carrying a litter of puppies, but I didn't know that for a week or two. That first few months were crazy. De-worming, de-fleaing. Birth! Lots of vet visits, a surgery to get her fixed, a really intense treatment to kill the heartworms that left her pretty much apartment-ridden for a month. Daisy went through a lot of poking and prodding and discomfort for a while there, but within 6 months, we had her in perfect health. The vet felt that she was only about a year old, so getting her back up to speed meant helping to ensure a long, healthy life for her.

Last December, I took Daisy to the vet right after Ryan and I moved here to Astoria. The vet said that she had a fatty cyst on her lower left side and we should watch it to see if it grew. Fast forward to July. I had noticed that the cyst had in fact grown, and was a little concerned about it. I hadn't liked the vet I originally took Daisy to here in Astoria, and I knew that in less than a month's time we would be on vacation in Illinois to visit my parents. There is a vet in my parent's home town that I had taken Daisy to once or twice before for check-ups while the two of us were living our nomadic post-grad school life. I decided to book an appointment for her there while we were on vacay. I really wish I hadn't done that now, but hindsight is 20/20, and this vet seemed reputable and capable...

When we - actually my mom - took Daisy to the vet in Illinois, they determined that the fatty cyst was in fact a hernia. They suggested we schedule surgery. Being the responsible pet-owners/parents that we are, we wanted to have it done as soon as possible and therefore, we booked it at the Illinois vet for the upcoming week. She came home the day after surgery - the vet kept her overnight for "observation" - and she seemed fine. I was surprised that they had sent her on her way with no meds or collar, but I figured the vet knew what she was doing. They gave us a sheet that said "Don't let the animal lick the surgical area." Well, she's a dog. Of course she's going to lick the area, and without an ecollar, you'd pretty much have to stay awake 24/7 and follow the dog everywhere to prevent licking. And even then, the dog would probably get in a stray lick or two before you stopped it. Ryan and I woke up in the middle of the night, the night that Daisy came home, to the sound of her vigorously licking her surgical area. The next morning we woke up to the sound of her vomiting. We immediately rushed her back to the vet's office and another Dr. (who didn't perform the surgery) asked where her collar was and seemed a little surprised that she wasn't sent home with one. This Dr. gave us a collar and gave Daisy a shot to calm her nausea and we took her home. She stopped licking herself and her stomach settled, and all seemed well.

I got her home to NY about 4 days later, and noticed that the area around her incision was pretty red and raw. There also appeared to be a dark area below the stitches, but nothing changed from day to day, so I didn't worry too much about it. I found another vet here in Astoria online - both Yahoo and Google had really positive reviews of Dr. Hatzidimitriou's practice at All Pets Veterinary Care. (That's what I should have done when I first moved here because the reviews of the first vet I took Daisy to here in Astoria were abysmal.) I made an appointment to have Daisy's sutures removed at 10 days after surgery.

Daisy and I both liked Dr. Hatzi and her staff right away. I could tell that the Dr. was a little worried about Daisy's incision area. She made a point to tell me to keep an eye on it and to call her if anything developed. Which it did about a day after she got the sutures out. A huge blood blister formed at the base of the incision, and then it burst, and all the way up the incision, it began to open. I took her back to Dr. Hatzi who began to treat her aggressively with anti-biotics and a routine of warm antiseptic compresses that she had Ryan and I repeat daily at home. Dr. Hatzi asked me for the records from the Illinois vet, and when she got them, was alarmed that the Illinois vet had sent Daisy home from surgery with no pain management meds, no anti-biotics and no ecollar after surgery. She stopped short of saying it was negligent, but she's pretty old school, and I could tell by her disapproving brow furrow and tongue clucking that she was unimpressed with the other vet's work. She also wanted to know what kind of sutures the vet used in the surgery, because Daisy might have been having an allergic reaction to them, and knowing what they were would help her decide a course of action to take. Strangely, that wasn't recorded in the Illinois vet's notes - another thing I could tell Dr. Hatzi thought was less than professional.

This went on for about 4 weeks. We kept shuttling Daisy in to Dr. Hatzi, sometimes because her incision infection looked worse, and sometimes because it looked like it was getting better. Dr. Hatzi wanted to err on the side of caution, because it's expensive to perform surgery, and also it's hell on the dog, so we tried as hard as we could to achieve a medicinal cure for the infection. We switched up to a stronger more broad-spectrum anti-biotic, we took her in regularly so Dr. H could drain the pus, we continued the compresses twice daily. Our life revolved around Daisy's treatments and meds. We would take her collar off of her when we did the compresses to give her at least 30 minutes, twice daily, of freedom from it. We bought her baby onesies and cut a hole for her tail so that she could sleep in them and not have the collar on, but Daisy is apparently the Houdini of dogs and managed to slip out of it (fully snapped!) the very first night we tried that. We really worked it. Finally after a month, Dr. Hatzi and we had to admit defeat and Daisy had another surgery.

Yesterday was surgery number two. I took Daisy to the vet for the umpteenth time in 30 days. Daisy really likes the vet office. Lisa the vet tech and the nurse really make over her, and she meets other dogs and CATS! in the waiting room. The waiting room experience is a real treat for her. Then there's the exam room. She immediately cowers and lays on the floor when it's time to go to the room. I carry her back in there, she gets poked and prodded and squeezed. Then she blames me for the pain, and we go home where she won't look at me for a couple of hours. Yesterday, she got a couple of shots and was scooped away for surgery. I felt uneasy the whole day. This whole process has been so exhausting mentally and emotionally. I came home and just couldn't keep still. I rearranged the furniture and cleaned like a maniac. Finally it was time to pick Daisy up. She was in so much pain, she looked like a doped up, angry mess. The nurse went through the meds and treatments Daisy would need: pain meds once a day after eating, anti-biotic pill twice a day, warm compress 3 times a day. No walking up stairs, no jumping, no licking, etc. It was a long list. I couldn't help but thinking she looked a lot worse and there was a lot more post-op care than there was in Illinois...

The nurse then told me that they didn't just cut out the infection, they also did an exploration of Daisy's hernia to make sure it was holding, and that the sutures holding it weren't infected as well. I will quote her exactly here: "We didn't find any evidence of scar tissue or any remnants of suture material." I was dumbfounded for a second. Did that mean what I thought it did? Did the vet in Illinois NOT perform a hernia surgery?? It's only been 6 weeks - surely there would have been evidence of hernia surgery - those sutures take up to 6 months to fully dissolve. Could it have been a fatty cyst as the original vet in Astoria suggested? Did the vet in Illinois simply remove a fatty cyst? Is that why there was no record of the actual repair in the vet's notes? Did they charge us for a hernia repair and then keep her overnight to hide that they didn't really perform one? The DAY after she had surgery for the hernia (or so we thought) Daisy was running and jumping and generally feeling pretty fine except for the irritation of the incision. Today, she couldn't run or jump if she tried, and all they did was explore around her groin area yesterday, not cut into it. She's three times as swollen, she's on pain meds, and because they performed surgery, she's on anti-biotics to ward off infection. Is it possible that the vet in Illinois misdiagnosed a hernia, opened Daisy up, realized it was just a fatty cyst, removed it, sewed her back up and kept her overnight to hide that she had a minimally invasive surgery and was just fine, and then charged us for the original diagnosis? This would explain the no meds, no collar - because they performed a minor procedure that wouldn't necessarily require all that. But because they didn't give her anti-biotics and a collar, Daisy was able to lick the incision and she either got an infection that way, or got a staph infection at her overnight stay at the vet, or because she was allergic to the sutures - although she had NO problems at all with any of the suture material used when she was fixed 4 years ago...

At any rate, I know that something was fishy about what happened at the Illinois vet, and I am so upset and angry about it. Not just that they defrauded us monetarily, but more that they have put this poor little dog, and the two of us through emotional, and in her case physical hell. We spent $500 on her "hernia surgery" and another $500 to clean up after it. Dr. Hatzi's nurse was really careful to go line by line and itemize all the expenses for her surgery yesterday to make sure that I understood exactly what they were charging me for, and showed me corresponding notes and the biopsy, etc. because I could tell she felt like I'd been taken to the cleaners by the Illinois vet and she wanted to make sure that I saw that this vet was on the up and up. They even knocked off a couple of smaller things to bring the overall bill down - because they felt badly about the fact that we were having to pay for the other vet's screw up.

The worst part of all of this is Daisy is a little scared of me. I have been the one who's taken her most often to the vet and it always results in pain for her, so she's now associating me with pain. Which SUCKS. She's clearly traumatized. Today she won't accept food from me, doesn't want me to touch her - she screams when I come near her - and she looks the other way when I look at her. If I walk towards her - she leaves the area. I have to carry her on the stairs to take her walks and she literally screams the entire time I'm carrying her in this high pitched loud squeal that makes everyone on the street look at me like I'm a dog abuser. That's bad, but what's worse is that I will have to spend a couple of weeks rebuilding my relationship and the trust between Daisy and me. That and her physical pain are the worst parts of this ridiculousness. She's a dog, she needs to be free from the collar, she needs to be active and happy and playful, and up until this ugly episode, she has been. This is a dark time for Daisy. It's a bit like a person suffering from depression. She's very low energy and low interest. I don't know how people with sick kids get through it. This is just horrible. The worst part is you can't explain anything to a dog. She doesn't know why all these things are happening to her - she's just suffering. She may not be human, but she's our baby. And we love her so... We just want her to be well.

Jes Has Cool Hair

I'm kind of obsessed these days with "Rock of Love" on VH1. I know it's total trash tv, but it's really engaging and well done. And kind of hilarious. It's sort of like WWE wrestling - no one really believes that Bret Michaels is looking for real love on the show, nor that any of the girls really is that in to winning the undying love of a washed up 45 year old rocker who hasn't has a hit record in 15 years and wears more eyeliner than they do... But it's great to watch the ladies all bitch fight as if they really do.

Jes is my favorite girl. Because she has fabulous hair, a great attitude and is probably the only one who sort of gets the irony of the whole thing. Plus her commentary is incisive and always funny. And she's from Chicago. Chicago girls rule. She's got a great accent, too. And did I mention her hair? It's pink and platinum. She sometimes wears it up in a total punky rock faux hawk, and then sometimes smooths it down in a chic femme mullet. (I mean that in the best possible sense.) Anyway. Jes' hair is the bomb. If I were brave enough, I would totally do the same thing with my hair, but sub peacock green for the pink.

For the past several years, work and acting have prohibited me from having the hair that I really want to have. I've always wanted some pure rock and roll hair, but shows I was in, or jobs that I've held just weren't compatible with hair self-expression. I love hair color. I mean real color - red, blue, pink, green. And I love really artistic haircuts. Asymmetrical, choppy, severe - love 'em. But I've never really had one. So Jes is my hair super hero.

Recently, my friend Michael gave me a really awesome baby steps to rock and roll haircut. The front two inches of my hair is platinum, and the rest of my hair is darker blonde. It's noticeable, but not too radical. I love it. It's my own personal color statement that says "I'm a little unconventional, but not too much." And Michael gave me an asymmetrical bob. It's longer in the front than back, and longer on the left side than right. Just a little bit. Again, a little edgy, but not over the line. It's very cosmo. Again, I love it. I'm hoping that in the next year or so, my life will afford me enough freedom to take the next step to a really radical cut and color. But for now, I'm loving Jes' hair. And my own.