Happy Passover

About twice a month, I work for a nice little catering company called 2 Peas and a Pot. It's run by two chefs, Lauren and Phil, who also happen to be a couple. They are really cool and fun to work for and we always have a good time at the dinner and cocktail parties that they cater for their upscale Manhattan clientele. Some of the clients are crazy - after all, it's Manhattan, and the clients all have money. Some of them have money and no manners, or money and no taste. For example, a Rockefeller (yes, as in THE Rockefellers) didn't tip the waitstaff, nor did the philanthropic widow with 15 Matisses adorning her 5th Avenue apartment's dining room wall. Nice. Other clients are low-key, fun and fabulous. You just never know who you'll be working for. It's also cool to see the inside of luxury multi-million dollar Manhattan apartments. No matter how large and lavish the apartment, the number one most common denominator in all these places is that every one of them has a small, inconveniently laid out kitchen - proof that no one in Manhattan cooks.

Last night, I worked a Passover Seder for a family in Soho. Their apartment takes up an entire floor of their building. I've worked for them before. The husband is either a partner at a large legal firm, or a high-powered investment banker. Don't know, really. He's a cypher. He completely ignores the "non-essential" people - I don't know that he's ever said anything to me besides, "I'll have a gin and tonic." Otherwise, he looks through me like I'm invisible. It's a little disconcerting, but I treat him the same way, so it's fine. The wife is a former speech writer for the Clinton administration turned Manhattan housewife, complete with the late-fertility child accessory, pill addiction and laundry list of philanthropic events and parties she participates in. I wouldn't say that she's horrible, but I wouldn't call her nice, either.

Anyway, the chefs were not working last night, they had their own family Seder to attend, so they prepped the meal and dropped it off, and it was my job to basically do the final food prep and serve it with another waiter. The plan was, we would arrive at 4pm to begin food prep, guests would arrive at 5pm for an hour of hors d'oeuvres and cocktails, and then dinner would be served buffet style at 6pm. At 4:30pm Natalie, the other waiter, and I had been standing in front of the building for 30 minutes when the nanny returned home with the child and kind of casually asked us if we were the help for the night, and let us in. The hostess didn't arrive home until 4:45pm. The first guests started arriving early at 4:50pm, asking for food, which wasn't ready yet, and drinks which hadn't been delivered from the market yet. The dinner was supposed to be for 15, and I immediately noticed that the table was set for 20. Right off the bat we are short on food, and late on prep - non of which was our fault. What a mess.

Around 5pm, the hostess announced to Natalie and I, "I hope this won't be a problem, I hate to even mention this because people just get so weird around celebrities, but we will be having celebrity guests tonight - Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts. Please just be yourselves and don't gawk." Coincidentally, I've already worked a party where Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts were in attendance. This is New York and I cater waiter, lady. I've seen it all. I've seen Victoria Secret models doing blow and throwing up in 23rd Street Armory bathroom, ok? The hostess went on to say, "I really feel that the famous should just stay in their own circle, but they're my husband's clients and they have no Seder to go to on Passover, so I HAD to invite them, I couldn't turn them away..." How gracious of her.

As expected, all anyone talked about after the celeb couple arrived was them. Naomi had no makeup on, had her hair pulled back in a ratty unwashed ponytail, and looked really cute, but normal, by the by. Liev hadn't shaved. In days. Frankly, they both looked like they'd rolled out of bed late that afternoon just in time to make dinner. They brought cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery for dessert. Naomi had to use the bathroom like 5 times - she's in her second trimester of pregnancy. Liev asked me for horseradish and when I found it for him, he was thrilled. I think it may have been his favorite moment of the whole meal. It was pretty surreal to be standing in someone's tiny kitchen and have a film actor of international renown come in and ask you for a paper towel because he'd dropped a glass of water on the rug in the living room. By the by, Natalie and I were the only people at the party who didn't gawk at them, and Liev and Naomi were hands down the most down to earth, gracious guests at the party. The hostess, who was so concerned about "the help's" reactions to being in the company of greatness, proceeded to put on a three hour show while they were there - playing adoring, gracious hostess-with-the-mostest, and Manhattan Power Wife. It was pretty hilarious. She even made her kid sing for them. I'm sure she spent all day today telling EVERYONE she knows how she had Liev and Naomi over for Passover, and pretending that it was a real hassle to have them show up. Whatever. She ate it up like kugel.